Narcissism, self-loathing and the paradox it presents – last in a trilogy.

My dearest Void

Soc here

I’m concluding the Catholic of self-portraits today. Starting with this piece: I’m less technically accurate but more true to charac―.

I’ve got to stop myself for a sec here.  I started out this whole project to jovially shred all the ham-handed pitchers I done over the years.  But lo! Where’s the trenchant derision now, fucker? It has become more like a maudlin exercise in self-congratulation thinly veiled as nostalgia.

So here’s how we’re going to round out this dog of a page:  I can’t paint.  I know I can’t paint.  I never went to school to study pitcher makin’.  I just liked doing it enough to burn hours a day doing it.  In fact, I don’t know what I’m going to do with my spare time once this blog is done.  I’ve considered taking up heroin; I’ve heard good things about it and apparently it’s a real time chewer upperer.

So here’s a cartoon of Soc about to start a new abortive cartoon:

That’s how my back yard looked at the time [CHECK DATE] (<- that was a file note to remind me to trudge up to the Cove and check the year I painted it. Please admire my dedication to meticulousness at will.  Except that it turns out that I didn’t either sign or date it.  Now we’re all fucking tortured.  It was probably ‘05ish). The yard was a wreck but some of the foliage came up nice in the pitcher – a shit load of small strokes is key there. 

Frankenspouse never seemed to grasp how emaciatedly thin I was and so all of the clothes she bought me looked like that.

And this, minus the Hieronymus-esque*psychedelica, is how my back yard looks now: 

I hadn’t got around to cleaning up the colours or detailing the background (or even finishing the subject come to that!) when the whole shebang came crashing down around my ears and the painting gears ground to an eternal halt.

*Oh Soc, you little fucker!  So you’re up there with Bosch now, are you? Dude, that is sauteed in wrong sauce!

Yours truly

The Void

And that’s it for the self-portrait trilogy

Soc is a fraud

Downinahole